Gym Excuses

Last week, I went three times for exactly 40 minutes each time.  5 minutes to stretch & warm up, 30 minutes of aerobic exercise, and 5 minutes to stretch & warm down.  Sunday.  Tuesday.  Thursday.  Not a day more and not a second more of exercise.  It may not be the best of routines, but it is a start. 

This morning was the start of the new week.  I went to the gym before work.  I have decided that going first thing in the morning, before work, is the way to go.  I can go, workout, and go home to shower and get ready for work.  This is perfect for me because there is virtually no excuse in this scenario.  Of course, I am the Queen of making excuses so as to avoid exercise and eating healthy.  If I wasn’t, then I wouldn’t be overweight and so desperate to shed some poundage.   

Here are a few of my favorites…and these are ONLY the ones that I have used to avoid going to the gym after work:

• The “I Can’t Shower At The Gym” excuse:  (This is a great excuse as it can be both a before-work and an after-work excuse!)  I can’t go to the gym because I have to go to work after [am excuse]/ I have to run an errand after [pm excuse] and I can’t shower at the gym.  I caught athlete’s foot from the gym shower once and it impossible to get rid of so I just cant do it!
• The “I Can’t Get Ready At The Gym” excuse:  (This is a variation on the first, but different enough that it warrants it’s own excuse line!)  I can’t go to the gym before work because I would have to shower there [see excuse #1] and get ready for work there.  This means that I would have to prepare my work clothes and bring them with me and I just can’t tell what I will feel like wearing after I am done working out.  Plus, I cant do my makeup there because the lights are all wrong.  Plus, I cant blow dry my hair there because there are only two blow-dryers and there is always someone using them. 
• The “It’s Too Late” excuse:  Oh, its 6pm and I am just leaving work now.  By the time I get to the gym, it will be 6:30, then change & find an empty machine, 7:00, then work-out for 30 minutes and go home and shower, it will be 8:00 before I am able to start making dinner and that is just too late because we wont be eating until 9:00pm!
• The “I’m Too Tired/It Was a Long Day” excuse:  I’m too tired; my day was emotionally and physically exhausting.  After such a long day, I really deserve to go home and relax!
• The “Poor Dog” excuse:  I’ve got to get right home.  The poor dog has been locked up for too long so I must get home to let her out!
• The “Bad Weather” excuse: (A combination of the Its Too Late & Poor Dog excuses, with a twist) It’s raining out and it will take way too long to get to the gym.  The people here in CA just don’t know how to drive in the rain, so it will take twice as long and then I will get home way too late and the poor dog will be stuck for way too long!
• The “No Clothes” excuse:  (This excuse covers a multitude of items because there are soooo many things to forget!)  I can’t go to the gym tonight because I forgot my workout clothes/sports bra/sneakers/socks/hair elastic/etc. at home and I obviously can’t workout without it/them!
• The “My Night to Cook” excuse:  (This is a great one because although it is similar to the It’s Too Late excuse, it shifts the blame to another.)  I can’t go to the gym tonight because it is my night to cook and even if I leave work right on time, I just cant get to the gym, home, shower, and start dinner before K gets home.  And, it’s just unfair to him to make him wait for dinner on a night that I am cooking!

Need I go on?  In case anyone ever needs some excuse to avoid the gym or any other fitness related activity, I have many more in my arsenal. 

Therefore, as you can see, going first thing in the morning, and coming home to get ready, seems to be the only way that I can make it work for me.  Even though it is hideous to have to get up at the crack of dawn, there are is really no excuses.  Well, there is the “I Stayed up Too Late” excuse.  But, that is really avoidable…and, it is only ONE!   

So, my morning routine has turned into this: Wake at 5:45 to get to the gym for 6am to workout for 40 minutes and be home by 7am (by which time K has left for the day) to shower and get ready for work, leaving the house by 8…to be at work by 8:20…for my 8:30 start.   

Of course, I could adjust my entire schedule so as to wake a more reasonable, 6 or 6:15am, take a slightly shorter time getting ready, and slide into my office a little closer to 8:45, however, for now, I must keep it as is…so I can continue to make the point to my employees that an 8:30am start time means that we START working at 8:30.  Not, pull into the parking garage at 8:30, then run and get a cup of coffee at the shop below the office, then continue the run to our office kitchen to make yourself a bowl of cereal, finally settling into your desk and turning on your computer after 9am!!!)  Phew, what a freakin’ bitch I am. But, I have to say, my personal promptness has had positive side effects with these guys so I will continue for as long as I can stand it.

Anyhow, Bitchy Ali or not, I went to the gym morning…Karl did not go to work (he has the day off today for Martin Luther King Day) so, while I have been annoyed in the past that he is still sleeping while I awake and hustle off to the gym, it was extra annoying to have to come home knowing full well that he was still asleep in bed.  Of course, instead of allowing myself to fully engulf myself in my new routine [a nice soothing steamy shower with the clock-radio blasting over the sound of the gushing water so I can hear the weather, music, and other miscellaneous updates], I had to be quiet and respectful of the fact that he was sleeping.  All the while, I was secretly bitter that I was awake and going to work.   

Oh well, it’s the end of the day now and I have to say that there was not too much work to be had in my office today.  Both of my grunts were off today, with their children who had off from school today for MLK Day.  This was annoying to me at first, but with the day as quiet as it was, it was great!